Have you ever wondered why some people fail at marriage and others succeed? Ever wonder why some people find the perfect person to marry and enjoy a love affair that lasts a lifetime? On the other hand, some marry a person that is wrong for them now, wrong for them tomorrow, and wrong for them for a lifetime? This is the difference.
The first truth you must make yourself understand is that the people you meet in life are, by the time they reach adulthood, pretty much what they are, because you are what you are by the time you become an adult. Changing who and what you are becomes nearly impossible after that. This is the hard truth – they can’t change who they really are, even if they wanted to.
Oh, sure, people as adults can make you believe from time to time that they are something different than what they really are, but in the end, they are, well, they are what they are. Make no mistake about that.
And secondly, when it comes to love and marriage, pay most of your attention to the actions of the person you are falling in love with. A person’s actions speak so much louder than their words. Never lose sight of this truism for to do so is put your heart, your health, your happiness and entire future at peril. Then alongside pay careful attention to their words. Never pay deaf ears to the obvious truth, waiting for a miracle. The only miracle you will need at a time when you want to lie to yourself, is that the sand particles in your eyes fall off.
And lastly, never ever ever marry for the wrong reason(s). “I can’t hurt a fly, you know me, so I can’t break her heart.” “We’ve gone too deep into this, that even if I know it’s not entirely right, I don’t want to disappoint her or my family or the world.” “Oh no I can’t wait any longer, I’m going to be 32 next year.” “But if I leave my partner, the assurance I’ll find another is slim.”
It gets even worse when you have the right person staring at you from a distance, but you can’t see because you are filled with what your heart is telling you and not what your head is saying.
Make sure there is friendship, trust, communication, respect, understanding, genuine care and honesty, before you go all neck in. It’s just that simple.
So when next you ask yourself what are the secrets of a successful marriage, remember there is only one answer – marry the right person!
Bonus answer – Keep your marriage off social media.